For those who perished
September 11th, 2008
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For those who perished on September 11th, 2001.
Happy Days Are Here Again!
September 10th, 2008
Let’s not forget that the political conventions weren’t the only big affairs this summer.The Olympics were just last month. It amazing how quickly Russia beat Georgia in the cross-country competition. Why, I haven’t seen a victory like that since August 1914 when Germany swept thru most of Europe and then came back to do it all over again in 1940. Apparently, like the those fun-loving, beer-swilling krauts of the First World War, (see note below), pour a little vodka and those pesky Russians just can’t help but breaking into song. Come’on sing along!
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“As they marched, the Germans sang. They sang when they halted, they sang when they billeted, when they caroused. Many who lived through the next thirty days of mounting combat, agony, and terror were to remember the sound of endless, repetitious masculine singing as the worst torment of the invasion.”
The Guns of August, Barbara W Tuchman
Unconventional look at the conventions
September 10th, 2008
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Rather unconventional conventions this year, wouldn’t you say? No? You think maybe they were just the same old taxpayer sponsored weeklong infomercials? Oh yes, that checkbox on your income taxes pays for part of the convention. About $16 million for each party! And you thought that they partied on their own dime. But they were unconventional and in so many ways.
Where else would you see the Democratic vice presidential candidate of four years ago act as a keynote speaker at this year’s Republican convention? Indeed, Joe Lieberman was on the shortlist to be the Republican vice presidential candidate. But apparently, some of the core fundamentalist Republicans were worried that if Joe Lieberman became president his first act might be to fire every gentile (ie non-Jewish) Member of Congress. His mother would roll over in her grave if Joe didn’t keep a kosher house. Oy!
Where else would you see Hillary Clinton, who not only lost her bid to become president but apparently wasn’t even considered for VP, give a speech dressed as an orange traffic cone. Evidently she thought to keep anyone else from running her over the way that Barack Obama did during the primaries.
There was Barack’s wife, Michele, looking like she could put boxing gloves and whoop your ass if you trash talk about her man. Ladies and Gentlemen, in this corner weighing in at 130 pounds “Michele the Obama Mama.”
And Barack demonstrated his new approach and theme of change just so forcefully by selecting as his as his running mate, Joe Biden, a man who has been a Washington insider for over 35 years since he was just barely old enough to hold the job.
Now of course, John McCain, the oldest candidate ever to run for president, surprised everyone by picking a vice president who is young enough to be his wife…. er …I mean daughter. Sarah “The Barracuda” Palin is showing how she supports Republican family values with her pregnant 17-year-old unmarried daughter already in the family way. As Sarah said, the only difference between a hockey mom and pit bull is lipstick, which made me ask the question, “did she just call herself a bitch?”
What about the main attractions? Nearly 40 million watched on TV as Barack Obama filled a stadium with over 80,000 people. He looked like a cross between a rock star and a televangelist making me wonder if, to paraphrase John Lennon, he is bigger than Jesus. John McCain had just as big an audience watching his acceptance speech on TV. Of course, he didn’t start until after the Giants defeated the Redskins in the NFL season opener. After all, Americans do have their priorities.
Welcome to Dumb Politics 2008
September 8th, 2008
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Yes friends, that great American experiment in democracy, where every four years the intelligent and wise of our nation gather to discuss and debate the great issues of our time, is upon us. Well, something is upon us and we’d better clean it off before it starts to stink. It’s already up to our ankles and it’s only gonna get deeper! That’s right my friends, the presidential race is finally down to the homestretch, and here and now we will discuss what is most important about this upcoming election. That is of course, the humor, the jokes, the guffaws, and just that continuous carnival of copious incompetency at all levels of the political process that each day of this election brings to we few, we happy few, we band of comics. Yes my fellow Americans, the Democratic and Republican conventions, those uniquely American institutions,(and who wants to be in an institution) that are a cross between a three ring circus and a paid political infomercial, are finally over. Not a moment too soon I might add. The selection of the candidates, such as they are, is made, the party platforms declared, the policy positions stated, but so much more lies ahead, lies of course being the operative word. There is still dirt to be dug, mud to be slung, muck to be raked, scandals to be mongered, accusations and counter accusations to be leveled and denied. Then maybe, just maybe, a discussion or two about the issues will ensue. But, if I were you, I wouldn’t hold my breath.
But this whole political process will not work without you. Yes you my friend! It is not up to the citizens, who abdicate their voting rights to automatic voting machines. It’s not up to the media, those political pundits who pontificate profusely pleading their points toward a probability of prevalence. It’s up the lobbyists and PACs, whose client’s good hard earned money goes to greasing the wheels of power. It’s not up to the political parties, who for years have followed that time-honored tradition of choosing the wrong person for the wrong office at the wrong time. It’s not up to special interest groups, the so called “five-twenty-sevens”, the stealth bombers of the campaign providing myths so dearly beloved by our political pundits of the pressroom It’s not up to corporate campaign contributors, whose millions of mostly unregulated dollars buy favor with those elected to represent the people and make these events possible.
It is up to us! That’s right! “We the people.” It is our constitutional duty to generate those jokes, garner those gags, and giggle at those gaffes, to show the humor and silliness that pervades the political process. Let us put aside for a moment the serious discussions of the war, the economy, health care and social security (God only knows the current administration and congress has) and don instead the jester’s cap. Let us find those character flaws, generate those jokes, and work those one-liners, and show just how dumb politics can really be and mostly is. Come join the fun. Welcome to Dumb Politics 2008!