Cold Snap Felt in DC
People are talking about the abnomally low temperatures we all seem to be experiencing these days. I thought it might be a good time to see how the cold might effect our nation’s capitol. Here’s a few observations:
There’s the old favorite that goes back to perhaps Will Rogers that goes:
“It was so cold here in Washington the other day that I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!” Ba Dump Bump!
But let’s get creative!
It was so cold that it does seem as if Washington has finally run out of (wait for it)…hot air! Ba Dump Bump!
It was so cold that Senator John McCain’s teeth were chattering, and he didn’t have them in at the time! Ba Dump Bump!
It was so cold in Washington today that Al Gore led us in a prayer “FOR” Global Warming! Ba Dump Bump!
It was so cold here in Washington that a naked jogger apprehended outside the Whitehouse was immediately ushered inside to a State Dinner! Ba Dump Bump!
It was so cold in Washington that politicians were actually starting to think about the homeless! Ba Dump Bump!
It was so cold in Washington that Governor Mark Sanford and his Argentine hiking buddy decided to hike the Appalachian Trail five times yesterday! Ba Dump Bump!
It was so cold that terrorists are now wearing Long Underwear bombs! Ba Dump Bump!
It was so cold in Washington that Bill was snuggling with Hillary just to stay warm! Ba Dump Bump!
It was so cold in Washington that Senator Larry Craig was describing himself to men in the airport restroom! Ba Dump Bump!
It was so cold in Washington this week that even the dead fish that former Vice President Cheney hid in the Whitehouse stopped stinking! Ba Dump Bump!
It was so cold in Washington that Satan had to bump up the thermostat over at the K Street branch of Hell a few degrees just to keep the poker games going! Ba Dump Bump!
It was so cold in Washington that Dick Cheney actually seemed to radiate golden warmth and sunny cheerfulness! Ba Dump Bump!
It was so cold in Washington that people were shivering like a cabinet appointee at the Internal Revenue office. Ba Dump Bump!
It was so cold that the Washington Hookers were charging $20 just to blow on your hands! Ba Dump Bump!
It’s so cold in Washington that the Congress is thinking about using some of the TARP money to weather-strip the Canadian border! Ba Dump Bump!
It was so cold in Washington that the Congressional Committee on Weapons Inspections decided that most of the weapons Iran is hiding and should be inspected by the committee were in Hawaii! Ba Dump Bump!
It was so cold in Washington that the Fake Rolex hucksters were instead selling Fake Space Heaters! Ba Dump Bump!
It was so cold in Washington that a Congressman was rushed to the hospital after being pelted with frozen teabags! Ba Dump Bump!
It was so cold in Washington that there is now an Ice Fishing Shack in the middle of the Mall Reflection Pool.! Ba Dump Bump! (Gee I hope Senators Klobuchar and Franken catch something!)
It was so cold in Washington that at a recent concert Brittney Spears put her underwear BACK ON! Ba Dump Bump!
It was so cold in Washington that politicians are burning effigies …of themselves! Ba Dump Bump!
It was so cold in Washington; people are beginning to listen to politicians speeches! That’s how desperate they are for some hot air! Ba Dump Bump!
It is so cold in Washington that instead of giving each other the finger, party hacks across the aisle are giving each other the mitten! Ba Dump Bump!
It was so cold in Washington that Iraqi reporters switched from throwing sneakers to throwing Mukluks at former President Bush! Ba Dump Bump!
It was so cold in Washington that Florida State student Andrew Meyer was going around town begging cops to “Please Tase Me Bro!” Ba Dump Bump!