A pig in a poke
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“You can put lipstick on a pig. It’s still a pig. “
We hear that the Pig lobby over on K Street has gone hog wild over Obama’s use of that analogy. They have heard that the Republicans will make this a pork barrel issue and insist that from now on that pigs must have no access to lipstick. Arnold Ziffle and Babe are quite upset that their girlfriends will have a hard time adjusting to life without lipstick. Porky Pig is pacing the floor because his wife Petunia has gone into rehab to get over her dependence on lipstick and the three little pigs have moved to Canada where they feel the chances of attracting mates will now be better there than here. After they had walked away from their houses and ballooning mortgages, the bank sent the Big Bad Wolf demolition firm in to blow their houses in to make room for a high rise condo, but just then Governor Palin flew over and shot him. We hear that old Big Bad is now a lovely throw rug in the Governor’s mansion. Wilbur the pig went to ask Charlotte the spider how such a thing could come to pass in our great nation. This little piggy went to market, the Piggly Wiggly actually, but when she got there, she found that she could not buy lipstick for love or money and she might as well have stayed home like her sister and had roast beef. We heard that she cried wee, wee, wee, all the way home. Miss Piggy was outraged and is pig headedly warming up her karate chop for when she meets Obama; Hiiiiya! Piglet was just too young to understand the question and Pumba said he was returning to Africa where he stated, “people aren’t so piggish in their attitudes.” Oh yes and all you people born under the sign of the pig in Chinese astrology, you’re out of luck when it comes to lipstick. As a matter of fact the only ones allowed to benefit from lipstick under the proposed law will be Pit Bulls. We guess the Hockey moms are out of luck too. It all sounds like a pig in a poke to us.
Yet another milestone brought to you by those wonderful people that brought you record national debt, broken healthcare, record job loss, and the never ending war in Iraq. But seriously folks, everyone knows you should never put lipstick on a pig. It wastes everyone’s time and it annoys the pig. SUwee! SUwee! Pig! Pig! Pig!