I don’t know nothin’ about them birthers
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“Lawzy, we got to have a doctor. I don’t know nothin’ about birthin’ babies”
Prizzy, Gone With The Wind, 1939
Really, I don’t know about birthin’ no babies, but this might be the biggest baby birthin’ story since the Dionne Quintuplets. Certainly, the biggest birth certificate story since they ran out of forms when the Octo-Mom started pumping out kids like conspiracies theories on a conservative blog. Seems we may have a usurper in the white house, or so the so called birthers say. Ever since that “phony” birth certificate was posted on candidate Obama’s website in June 2008, there have calls … well screams and shouts from certain sectors … for the President to release his “real” birth certificate. Maybe these birthers just are suspicious with that strange name: Barack Hussein Obama. Never mind the man was elected with 365 electoral votes, damn it; he ain’t president, unless he is a “real” American. What about the ads placed in not one but two Honolulu newspapers in August 1961 announcing the birth a son to Mrs. and Mrs. Barack H. Obama? Could have been planted 40 years in advance; a good conspiracy needs that long to fester. Perhaps the memories of Dr. Rodney T. West, the obstetrician who brought the bouncing baby Barack into this world and who died in February 2008 at the age of 98 are just doctored as well. Even Dr. Chiyome Fukino, director of the Hawaii State Department of Health has “…seen the original vital records maintained on file by the Hawaii State Department of Health verifying Barack Hussein Obama was born in Hawaii and is a natural-born American citizen.” Who’s to say if this doctor is a “real” American? Then there is Hawaii’s Republican governor, Linda Lingle, a name that sounds like an extra on porno flick. At first she said the certificate was real and true but name has “sealed” it not be released under any circumstances. Best if things fester unseen, I suppose.